Sunday, March 22, 2015
Dreams 18
Alright so this one starts at nighttime at some type of east coast style beach (somewhere between the outer banks and the jersey shore) where all of my extended family is gathered to do something that i can't recall. My mom and my cousin brooks get into a very heated argument (which is happening in the real world in a more subtle way) and he storms off, gets in her old white geo, and i get in with him and we drive off into the night. He asks me if i see where he's coming from, and i tell him that i love him, but if he expects me to side with him against my mother he's got another thing coming. So he says 'i'm going to make it an interesting night' and turns off to this hotel balcony/pier combination. Somehow we get out of the car and he drives it off the pier but it lands in this little swamp in back of the hotel upside down and sinks to the bottom, and then he leaves. Instead of calling my mom, i try to sort it out, climbing into the swamp to try to lift the car out, which doesn't work. i keep pulling out cigarettes as if to smoke them, but then putting them back before i do. Some of the onlookers say they know who can help me, and they get this grizzled barbarian looking behemoth with a huge belly, wearing only a leather kilt like he was born 3000 years ago. He manages to flip the car over and tie something to it, and then i help him drag it out of the swamp. Then i wake up.......
and go back to sleep a little later, only to find myself in the same beach area, but at a party at the same hotel, but i'm inside at this big ballroom type spot. i run into my old friend dave rhodes, who is with this promotional crew all wearing gear to promote some new party juice, like some underground liquid narcotic that hasn't been made illegal yet. He doesn't recognize me at first, but when he does they give me a shirt, and a few sips on the plastic bottle that's filled with the drug. Life starts to feel really strange and hallucinatory, and we walk outside. then i recognize that it's the same hotel and we go out back at my insistance, only instead of a swamp, it's a multi level pier overlooking the ocean. We go down to the lowest and farthest point towards the water, which is pitching and roiling like crazy. Suddenly we are surrounded by giant whales, who fade in and out in front, and on all sides, one even comes right up and looks me in the eye up real close....and then i wake again.
love,
T.
and go back to sleep a little later, only to find myself in the same beach area, but at a party at the same hotel, but i'm inside at this big ballroom type spot. i run into my old friend dave rhodes, who is with this promotional crew all wearing gear to promote some new party juice, like some underground liquid narcotic that hasn't been made illegal yet. He doesn't recognize me at first, but when he does they give me a shirt, and a few sips on the plastic bottle that's filled with the drug. Life starts to feel really strange and hallucinatory, and we walk outside. then i recognize that it's the same hotel and we go out back at my insistance, only instead of a swamp, it's a multi level pier overlooking the ocean. We go down to the lowest and farthest point towards the water, which is pitching and roiling like crazy. Suddenly we are surrounded by giant whales, who fade in and out in front, and on all sides, one even comes right up and looks me in the eye up real close....and then i wake again.
love,
T.
Friday October 13th, 2006
So it's the evening of October 12, a Thursday, and i get home from work around 10pm. We've known that Creepy has cancer for two weeks now, and we're trying to combat it with holistic medicine, organic food, and mad love. The vets say there's nothing they can do, and on this evening it starts to seem like we can't do anything either. When i walk in, Kristine is sitting with him on his queen size mattress that we put in the living room for him. he barely looks up as i come in, whereas in the full bloom of his health he would have been at the door waiting, tail wagging. but he just lays there, eyes slightly glazed, breathing irregular. we can't get him to eat, and my question of 'do you want to go for a walk' does nothing, where before it would incite a riot of fur and a rush for the door. i look at Kristine, and the silent knowledge passes through us that we're going to have to kill him tomorrow. i decide to sleep with him and lay down next to him on the living room bed (which is still there and is my favorite place to play video games), and we drift off to sleep......
it's now the morning of Friday, October 13th (the first friday 13th since our wedding in 2004) and my eyes open slowly as i see Creepy get out of bed and go curl up on the floor. Something sounds weird, so i open my eyes. it's his breathing, it's really heavy and difficult, i check him out, and his nose is filled with fluid, and i can't get it out. so we go up and wake up Kristine, and Creepy goes out onto our rooftop patio and sits down with his back to us, staring up at the sun in the sky. i look at his back and hear his ragged breating as Kristine calls the vet and makes the appointment to euthenize......i give him some organic beef, which he eats for a wonder, and in the car on the way there i pour water into his mouth, because he can no longer drink on his own. a lot of the water spills onto me cause he's in my lap, and at the vet, it looks like i peed on myself. The docs didn't have time for us right away, so we took him on a slow meandering walk around the block, just soaking it all in, and trying to imprint the feel of our friend in our memory. we sit on the grass for a while, Creepy's eyes are still glazed and his energy is fading. I have to carry him the rest of the way around the block to the vet. They put us in room 3, and the doctor comes in a few minutes. we speak words of love, and Kristine speaks reassurances of the trancendence of the spirit and the continuation of life and energy after death. i kiss him on his nose, and scoot back as the doctor moves in with the needle, her assistant ready to help. Kristine and i are sitting on the cold floor facing him as the needle goes in to the iv on his arm. His head akwardly slumps to the ground as he loses control of his body, and leaves it behind forever. the veterinary personnel leave the room, and for ten minutes all we can do is cry and touch his lifeless body. There is forever a piece missing in our hearts and lives, and not a day goes by that we don't think about him, and at least a few times a day my mind replays the image of his head slumping to the floor. i miss him.
This is what his body looked like after he left us.
love.
t.
it's now the morning of Friday, October 13th (the first friday 13th since our wedding in 2004) and my eyes open slowly as i see Creepy get out of bed and go curl up on the floor. Something sounds weird, so i open my eyes. it's his breathing, it's really heavy and difficult, i check him out, and his nose is filled with fluid, and i can't get it out. so we go up and wake up Kristine, and Creepy goes out onto our rooftop patio and sits down with his back to us, staring up at the sun in the sky. i look at his back and hear his ragged breating as Kristine calls the vet and makes the appointment to euthenize......i give him some organic beef, which he eats for a wonder, and in the car on the way there i pour water into his mouth, because he can no longer drink on his own. a lot of the water spills onto me cause he's in my lap, and at the vet, it looks like i peed on myself. The docs didn't have time for us right away, so we took him on a slow meandering walk around the block, just soaking it all in, and trying to imprint the feel of our friend in our memory. we sit on the grass for a while, Creepy's eyes are still glazed and his energy is fading. I have to carry him the rest of the way around the block to the vet. They put us in room 3, and the doctor comes in a few minutes. we speak words of love, and Kristine speaks reassurances of the trancendence of the spirit and the continuation of life and energy after death. i kiss him on his nose, and scoot back as the doctor moves in with the needle, her assistant ready to help. Kristine and i are sitting on the cold floor facing him as the needle goes in to the iv on his arm. His head akwardly slumps to the ground as he loses control of his body, and leaves it behind forever. the veterinary personnel leave the room, and for ten minutes all we can do is cry and touch his lifeless body. There is forever a piece missing in our hearts and lives, and not a day goes by that we don't think about him, and at least a few times a day my mind replays the image of his head slumping to the floor. i miss him.
This is what his body looked like after he left us.
love.
t.
Friday, March 20, 2015
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Dreams 17
So some people and i are staying at this dream house that i've dreamed before, that's owned by the parents of some friends of mine. It's a huge and beautiful house, and the other time i dreamed of it, there was this secret crawlspace behind a shower that led to this huge, unfinished basement that was full of storage type stuff. This time, i led one of my friends (can't remember who) through the narrow opening at the back of the shower into a little hallway....and upon exiting the hallway, i found out that the previously unfinished basement has been dramatically and beautifully renovated. First is an immaculate mirror-ceilinged bedroom, with a monstrous and fantastically carved victorian style four post bed made out of white wood and decorated with gold leaf and jewels. Then on to the main room of the basement, which now was huge, with 40ft. ceilings, and six pool tables, 2 bars, turntables and a giant sound system, and a grand piano. Three of the walls were floor to ceiling windows, with plush red velvet curtains that were tied back. My first thought was 'we have to throw a party here', so, obtaining permission, we set about the planning. i was recruiting bartenders in my head, and me and a friend decided to get Jimi Hendrix, Bob Dylan, and The Mars Volta to play there. For some reason i thought that Jimi and Bob would be hard to get ahold of, so we went with just the Volta, and some dj's to play when the band wasn't on. i called my friend Louis (not Lewis) and when he showed up he pointed out that the cops would come with all these windows open, and i told him we'd close them and draw the curtains. i set out to give him a tour of the house, and somehow there was some outside on the inside, and Orietta, along with Kristine's mom Gayane, were out on this dusty country driveway dismantling this huge harvesting machine to put it back on a Uhaul truck. Orietta had dark pink cornrows, a kerchief, and a sleeveless shirt to show off her muscles, looking like a hip hop Rosie the Riveter. i stepped in to help, but they were almost done, so i did the last tire and joint, put it away, and woke up.
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