Friday October 13th, 2006

So it's the evening of October 12, a Thursday, and i get home from work around 10pm. We've known that Creepy has cancer for two weeks now, and we're trying to combat it with holistic medicine, organic food, and mad love. The vets say there's nothing they can do, and on this evening it starts to seem like we can't do anything either. When i walk in, Kristine is sitting with him on his queen size mattress that we put in the living room for him. he barely looks up as i come in, whereas in the full bloom of his health he would have been at the door waiting, tail wagging. but he just lays there, eyes slightly glazed, breathing irregular. we can't get him to eat, and my question of 'do you want to go for a walk' does nothing, where before it would incite a riot of fur and a rush for the door. i look at Kristine, and the silent knowledge passes through us that we're going to have to kill him tomorrow. i decide to sleep with him and lay down next to him on the living room bed (which is still there and is my favorite place to play video games), and we drift off to sleep......
it's now the morning of Friday, October 13th (the first friday 13th since our wedding in 2004) and my eyes open slowly as i see Creepy get out of bed and go curl up on the floor. Something sounds weird, so i open my eyes. it's his breathing, it's really heavy and difficult, i check him out, and his nose is filled with fluid, and i can't get it out. so we go up and wake up Kristine, and Creepy goes out onto our rooftop patio and sits down with his back to us, staring up at the sun in the sky. i look at his back and hear his ragged breating as Kristine calls the vet and makes the appointment to euthenize......i give him some organic beef, which he eats for a wonder, and in the car on the way there i pour water into his mouth, because he can no longer drink on his own. a lot of the water spills onto me cause he's in my lap, and at the vet, it looks like i peed on myself. The docs didn't have time for us right away, so we took him on a slow meandering walk around the block, just soaking it all in, and trying to imprint the feel of our friend in our memory. we sit on the grass for a while, Creepy's eyes are still glazed and his energy is fading. I have to carry him the rest of the way around the block to the vet. They put us in room 3, and the doctor comes in a few minutes. we speak words of love, and Kristine speaks reassurances of the trancendence of the spirit and the continuation of life and energy after death. i kiss him on his nose, and scoot back as the doctor moves in with the needle, her assistant ready to help. Kristine and i are sitting on the cold floor facing him as the needle goes in to the iv on his arm. His head akwardly slumps to the ground as he loses control of his body, and leaves it behind forever. the veterinary personnel leave the room, and for ten minutes all we can do is cry and touch his lifeless body. There is forever a piece missing in our hearts and lives, and not a day goes by that we don't think about him, and at least a few times a day my mind replays the image of his head slumping to the floor. i miss him.


This is what his body looked like after he left us.

love.

t.